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Mexico Guru

Top 10 ways to know you’ve been vacationing
in Puerto Vallarta too long

Foreigners ask you for directions...and you actually know where to send them.

In spite of a variety of places to dine, you end up at the Hard Rock Cafe and pay more for a hamburger and fries than you would at home.

AND you buy a Hard Rock Vallarta T-shirt.

The pod of whales you see on your sightseeing cruise reminds you of the neighbors down the block at home.

You throw the used toilet paper in the trash can, not the toilet.

You dream of a tall dairy-free latte (extra foam) from Starbucks; your pillow is wet with drool.

The shoeshine man in the plaza now recognizes you and waves at you when you stroll by.

Selling time shares seems like a viable career path.

The only footwear you’ll even consider is a pair of flip flops.

You visit the Remax Real Estate office, and then call your parents and ask for your inheritance early.